The private-life sellers (TPLS)

The press would love such people. Think celebrities who volunteer information about their personal lives without anyone asking for the data. Of course, in real life it’s not celebrities. And the information is being given out in person, not on television or any other media, which has the facility of being shut down or thrown away. And the information could range from the colour of the new carpets in their houses to their honeymoon destinations.

In this case, I am not quite sure what triggers the information sharing sessions. It all starts very casually—all bad things do, don’t they? This type of person would in a seemingly innocent way, drop a casual remark about the renovation in their houses, or an impending wedding. Either too polite to change the topic, or too stupid to see what is coming, you somehow get conned into asking some details about the remark. But again, with reference to the first conversation with this person, how are you supposed to know what kind of person you are talking to. And sometimes, you don’t even ask a question. For example here’s a sample conversation.

TPLS : I had a hectic weekend.
You : Oh, did you have to work?
TPLS : No, I have been going around from travel agent to travel agent.
And here it comes. Because you had to ask.
You : Oh, you are planning a vacation?
TPLS : Not really, I am planning my honeymoon.
Now really, you think, that’s none of my business, is it. And plus, if you are single, you obviously give a damn.
You : Oh, that’s nice. (Notice, no question asked.)
But by now, the TPLS is too excited to notice or in effect care.
TPLS : So I have shortlisted a few destinations.
You : Oh, ok. (So what do you want from me, an approval?)
TPLS : I have been making decisions based on my and my fiance’s preferences.
You : Really? (As if there is any other way.)
TPLS : So I gave all the travel agents my choices and my budget. I also spoke to my bank about the limits on my credit cards.
You : Oh. (Buddy, I will pay you to start your vacation right now.)
TPLS : But they told me that the bookings will have to be done about 2-3 months in advance.
You : Hmm. (By now, you are wondering what it was you said that prompted the soul-baring. But ofcourse, by now it is too late.)
TPLS : So I told them blah blah blah blah blah
You : Oh. (You suddenly have a feeling of impending doom.)
TPLS : blah blah blah blah blah
You : (No sound at all. Just nodding. And thinking of something entirely different.)


Again, the trouble here is that, in the initial conversations with these kind of people, you might feel a bit flattered that someone is sharing such intimate details of their life with you. But you soon find out that yours truly has been handing out information to anyone who makes “hmmm” sounds. Or anyone who blinks.

The amusing thing about human psychology is that, till you know that you are exclusively privy to some knowledge, you cold possibly grin and bear the source. But if you realize you could get that same information from someone else, and in a summarised form, your time suddenly becomes precious.

I have always marveled over the nature of these people. Why would they possibly think that somebody else would be interested in a 3-dimensional version of their lives? And mind you, subtle sarcasm or hints are lost on these people. So no amount of looking at your watch, or dropping a “I have to meet someone in 15 mnts” could curb their enthusiasm. If anything, it just makes them disseminate information at a faster pace.

Being fair to this individual, these are the kind who will give you lot of information or help when you need it; provided they have been through the same experience, ofcourse.
From brochures to contact persons, they know it all. And they will invariably help you to get the best bargains.

There are two kinds of TPLS. The nice ones, who over a period of time have the potential to become good friends and hence can be told to curb their basic (information sharing) instincts. The egoistical ones, who see no point in life if they cannot share their travails and triumphs with an (however reluctant) audience.

So, how do you deal with them?

Avoid—Handling the first category is decidedly simpler. As I said earlier, gradually, you could tell them that your idea of tea-time is not listening to their life-story. With the second type, the only option is avoid. Because, for them, it is difficult to face the fact that everybody might not be interested in their chronicles, however touching they might be.

Change the topic—Again, this might be easier with the first category. They might not even notice that you have changed the subject. Because, for most of the people from this category, they do not realize that they have been talking about something that nowhere involves you. With the second category, friends, there is no way you can change the subject. Even if you do (maybe for like 10 seconds), you will just be nodding again before you know it. However, here’s something I do that always works. Play your mobile ringtone and “pick up” your phone saying it is an urgent call. Then “hold” the “caller” and tell the TPLS that you have to take the call; and walk away to freedom. Very effective, I promise.

Stop asking questions—Absolutely desist from saying anything that might be interpreted as a question in any way.